Poop Diet Results

Well, after taking these Acai berry pills for 3/4 of a month, I'm happy to report that I broke even.

It was serious hell. The shits you get with the colon cleanse AND the acai berry combination are unbelievable. Runny and gross -- especially when combined with female problems on top of it. NOT a pretty sight, and I'll censor the rest of this description right here.

But, I lost 15 lbs. It was a miracle. We had our family portrait taken when I was at my lowest, which was fortuitous. THEN, just as miraculously, I gained it all but 4 lbs. back. I got stuck in this vicious cycle: starve myself all day because the pills truly take away your appetite. Normally, I don't eat until noon, so I'd take the pills 30 minutes before lunch, and then barely eat anything.

Come supper-time (yes, I'm from the sticks) I'm not hungry still, and take the second set of pills for the day. But around bed-time you are ravenously hungry and that's when I would munch. It does take away your cravings for carbs, but I would find myself choking them down somehow.

Anyway. Fast forward three weeks, and the scale suddenly jumps up. It's like once the colon was cleansed, the weight just started to pack on even though I felt starvation all day long.

So I said fuck the pills, and just went back to normal. I've maintained this -4 pound differential for a week or so, so at least I'm not gaining the full 15 back again. I blame it on being peri-menopausal; I've been having symptoms of that.

Fun shit. LOL. I accidentally made a punny.