Dreams

I've been having a sort of recurring theme in my dreams over the past few months. Either I'm at work, like some twisted workplace that reminds me of former jobs, or I'm at a huge talent show where I'm either performing or watching. But what is strange is that I am always lugging around a bunch of junk: my purse, which perpetually gets lost, or boxes of clothes and other personal belongings -- and I always lose everything. I can't find my car half the time in the big city that is always involved, and my purse is never with me.

It just hit me that this might be angst from the fire. Both my husband and I have been very emotional lately, and we cry easily now. We didn't cry over the fire immediately, but maybe that dissociation is finally wearing off and we are now FEELING.

It makes sense that I keep losing everything in my dreams -- I DID lose everything a few months ago. I feel frustrated in the dream, and I wake up in a cold sweat (well, that could be peri-menopausal) and all wound up. Last night, I went to bed at 9 PM because the boys were out camping. I woke up at 12:00 and 2:00 and 5:30 -- finally sleeping a bit more until 7 AM.

So, what is my psyche trying to tell me about my future? Or is it just ruminating on the past? I need a sign, dammit -- just like when I had to get my red light adjusted on the car because it wasn't giving me proper warning when I was about to run out of gas.

Oh well, it's not like I'm getting murdered or murdering other people in them, so I got THAT going for me. I'm not falling off of the building and landing SPLAT on the ground, so I also got that going for me. But why the obsession on stuff? Why do I always lose my purse? Maybe it's because my Elvis purse was my only possession after the fire, and I did buy a larger one shortly after so I could carry more stuff in it. Hmmmmmmmm.

If anyone can help me figure out my twisted brain waves, please give me a shout-out.

Until then, happy dreams!