Well, after taking these Acai berry pills for 3/4 of a month, I'm happy to report that I broke even.
It was serious hell. The shits you get with the colon cleanse AND the acai berry combination are unbelievable. Runny and gross -- especially when combined with female problems on top of it. NOT a pretty sight, and I'll censor the rest of this description right here.
But, I lost 15 lbs. It was a miracle. We had our family portrait taken when I was at my lowest, which was fortuitous. THEN, just as miraculously, I gained it all but 4 lbs. back. I got stuck in this vicious cycle: starve myself all day because the pills truly take away your appetite. Normally, I don't eat until noon, so I'd take the pills 30 minutes before lunch, and then barely eat anything.
Come supper-time (yes, I'm from the sticks) I'm not hungry still, and take the second set of pills for the day. But around bed-time you are ravenously hungry and that's when I would munch. It does take away your cravings for carbs, but I would find myself choking them down somehow.
Anyway. Fast forward three weeks, and the scale suddenly jumps up. It's like once the colon was cleansed, the weight just started to pack on even though I felt starvation all day long.
So I said fuck the pills, and just went back to normal. I've maintained this -4 pound differential for a week or so, so at least I'm not gaining the full 15 back again. I blame it on being peri-menopausal; I've been having symptoms of that.
Fun shit. LOL. I accidentally made a punny.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Reminiscing
Been reading the first Thresholds as I prepare it for publication, and it's fun to take a trip down memory lane. But I'm concerned that I have strayed a bit from my initial goals.
At first, this blog was about my failed attempts to teach journalism to some very bright students. I wanted to capture my angst as I tried to learn those programs-that-shall-not-be named...I wanted to show how public education in my world is as much about sex, drugs and rock-n-roll as it is about classroom management. I wanted to paint a picture of this innocent school in the Heartland of the USA that made your eyes pop out of your head and your ears scream.
But in this second blook, I have strayed from the original mission. I have had to process this thing called life: perhaps I have grown up or at least am attempting to do so. That silly fire has turned everything upside down.
Oh well, I go back to work in one week from tomorrow, so this blog shall most likely get back on track. But I kinda like the diversion of the last 6 months, to tell the truth. I think it shows that Delani has depth of character...or that she has really good brain drugs.
Drum roll please.....school year #5 is about to start. Will my new technology arrive before school starts? Will my class sizes have reduced to match my available technology? Will my classes control me or will I finally learn to be the head mother fucker in charge?
Well, one thing hasn't changed. I still can curse like a truck driver, as my mother used to tell me. Sounds like shit and doesn't do a damn bit of good. But it's real, at least. People talk like this in my world, how about yours?
At first, this blog was about my failed attempts to teach journalism to some very bright students. I wanted to capture my angst as I tried to learn those programs-that-shall-not-be named...I wanted to show how public education in my world is as much about sex, drugs and rock-n-roll as it is about classroom management. I wanted to paint a picture of this innocent school in the Heartland of the USA that made your eyes pop out of your head and your ears scream.
But in this second blook, I have strayed from the original mission. I have had to process this thing called life: perhaps I have grown up or at least am attempting to do so. That silly fire has turned everything upside down.
Oh well, I go back to work in one week from tomorrow, so this blog shall most likely get back on track. But I kinda like the diversion of the last 6 months, to tell the truth. I think it shows that Delani has depth of character...or that she has really good brain drugs.
Drum roll please.....school year #5 is about to start. Will my new technology arrive before school starts? Will my class sizes have reduced to match my available technology? Will my classes control me or will I finally learn to be the head mother fucker in charge?
Well, one thing hasn't changed. I still can curse like a truck driver, as my mother used to tell me. Sounds like shit and doesn't do a damn bit of good. But it's real, at least. People talk like this in my world, how about yours?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Dreams
I've been having a sort of recurring theme in my dreams over the past few months. Either I'm at work, like some twisted workplace that reminds me of former jobs, or I'm at a huge talent show where I'm either performing or watching. But what is strange is that I am always lugging around a bunch of junk: my purse, which perpetually gets lost, or boxes of clothes and other personal belongings -- and I always lose everything. I can't find my car half the time in the big city that is always involved, and my purse is never with me.
It just hit me that this might be angst from the fire. Both my husband and I have been very emotional lately, and we cry easily now. We didn't cry over the fire immediately, but maybe that dissociation is finally wearing off and we are now FEELING.
It makes sense that I keep losing everything in my dreams -- I DID lose everything a few months ago. I feel frustrated in the dream, and I wake up in a cold sweat (well, that could be peri-menopausal) and all wound up. Last night, I went to bed at 9 PM because the boys were out camping. I woke up at 12:00 and 2:00 and 5:30 -- finally sleeping a bit more until 7 AM.
So, what is my psyche trying to tell me about my future? Or is it just ruminating on the past? I need a sign, dammit -- just like when I had to get my red light adjusted on the car because it wasn't giving me proper warning when I was about to run out of gas.
Oh well, it's not like I'm getting murdered or murdering other people in them, so I got THAT going for me. I'm not falling off of the building and landing SPLAT on the ground, so I also got that going for me. But why the obsession on stuff? Why do I always lose my purse? Maybe it's because my Elvis purse was my only possession after the fire, and I did buy a larger one shortly after so I could carry more stuff in it. Hmmmmmmmm.
If anyone can help me figure out my twisted brain waves, please give me a shout-out.
Until then, happy dreams!
It just hit me that this might be angst from the fire. Both my husband and I have been very emotional lately, and we cry easily now. We didn't cry over the fire immediately, but maybe that dissociation is finally wearing off and we are now FEELING.
It makes sense that I keep losing everything in my dreams -- I DID lose everything a few months ago. I feel frustrated in the dream, and I wake up in a cold sweat (well, that could be peri-menopausal) and all wound up. Last night, I went to bed at 9 PM because the boys were out camping. I woke up at 12:00 and 2:00 and 5:30 -- finally sleeping a bit more until 7 AM.
So, what is my psyche trying to tell me about my future? Or is it just ruminating on the past? I need a sign, dammit -- just like when I had to get my red light adjusted on the car because it wasn't giving me proper warning when I was about to run out of gas.
Oh well, it's not like I'm getting murdered or murdering other people in them, so I got THAT going for me. I'm not falling off of the building and landing SPLAT on the ground, so I also got that going for me. But why the obsession on stuff? Why do I always lose my purse? Maybe it's because my Elvis purse was my only possession after the fire, and I did buy a larger one shortly after so I could carry more stuff in it. Hmmmmmmmm.
If anyone can help me figure out my twisted brain waves, please give me a shout-out.
Until then, happy dreams!
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