Fun with Photos

Just applying my new photoshopping skills:



I created the artwork for a group on facebook called SuperBitch & MegaDick: fighting the right-wing nuts at newstands near you.

All Dressed Up

Going to go sign the papers for the Cadillac. I got all dressed up.

We were going to buy a Saturn Vue Hybrid model, but they didn't have any. And oops, the Cadillac dealer is right next door...what's a poor girl to do?

Sunday AM and a New Caddy

Sunday mornings are great, when the whole family is here, and when you are playing with a new toy. We got a small suv yesterday, and it rocks. Fully loaded, originally stickered at $59,000 and after 3 years, we got it for $26,000. What a fucking deal.

It's sweet, fur sure. We will go to Memphis in style now. DVD player with wireless headphones in the back for the kids: OnStar and gps crap in front seat for me to play with, and BOSE damn speakers - w00t.

It cost more than our house, which is hilarious.

And I'm gonna get off my butt now and challenge Son #1 to a wii game of American Idol. Later, I'm going to check a stack of proofs that Ranae got done, and we're gonna submit a whole freaking load of pages to the plant soon. All is well.

Hmmmmm. Don't like it when that happens. Makes me think some impending doom is headed this way. Why is it always gloom and doom with me? Could be the gray skies we've had for several days. The state is already flooded, and we got torrential downpours the other day.

Ready, set, go: get off your ass now, woman.

Happy Hour

It's Friday and it's Happy Hour time...time for all American workers to stop work and start drinking. I don't officially go out anymore, that is for amateurs. I drink in house, and I drink cheap boxed wine, as previously mentioned. And I worked for 3 minutes today. HA. So there.

:P

I took an interesting picture of myself today with my trusty lappy. Here is Delani Bleu and Delani Bleu, a double self portrait. My mother painted the picture in the background of the picture when I was in high school, and the foreground is me, well, looking contemplative at age 44.

OK, looking old at age 44. Oh well, I don't care right at this moment, because it is HAPPY hour, remember?

We have been dealing with a young thief at our house over the past few weeks. I shall blog about Damien next. Yes, i said Damien. But today's topic is HAPPY hour, remember?

I have a mysterious cold sore on the other side of my tongue, and it only feels good if I stick out my tongue like a dog. Shit, today is about HAPPY hour, yeah yeah yeah.

Garçon, more wine?

Blood, Sweat and Tears

MKay, Stop reading now if you are squeamish: this entry is gonna be scatological.

First off, the blood: I am a woman on the verge of menopause, and thus, periods tend to become erratic, to say the least. This one hit me like a freight train, coming in the middle of the night and making me puke. Fun. I am woman, roar.

Second, the sweat: It's hot and our air conditioner has been broken for 3 years now. The daytimes are cool in our old 1920's house, but the evenings are hell. I'm sure hubby will get that new drain pan soon, along with the garbage disposal, bathroom sink and shower knobs. We have a few household projects piling up, and have the money just not the time. Or gumption, I guess.

Thirdly, the tears. As usual, they are for the yearbook. We got a nasty/nice letter from our publisher mentioning we've only submitted 27 pages so far, and are sitting on a batch of proofs. Ranae has been working this week while I've been unable to go in so far, but she's doing detail work and not getting pages submitted because of that. People still aren't coming in, and that whole list of things I thought I could deal with is still there...and I am not dealing. I'm about to bawl like a wet baby.

*Heavy Sigh*

Battle of the Bands, Part II

Well, I'm glad my agoraphobia didn't get the best of me tonight. I judged our local Battle of the Bands again this year and nobody made fun of me (to the best of my knowledge.)

It was a completely different venue this time, out doors, and lots of adults who were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. Last year it was in a teen club with about 50 kids and me, so this year, I didn't stick out like a sore thumb.

Whew.

And my intro was great again this year, if I don't say so myself. I wrote it earlier in the day so I wouldn't be put on the spot and choke:

From her days listening to AM stations on her transistor radio, Delani Bleu has been a music aficionado. Her love of music drew her to the piano first, then the drums, violin and finally vocals throughout her musical career. Her claim to fame is teaching Corey Taylor (of Slip Knot and Stone Sour) ninth grade English. She now teaches journalism and City High School, where she jams daily with her students.

So this year, mine was the longest intro, and instead of an annoying music professor there was a drunk, cigar-smoking fool as a fellow judge. There were four of us, and I took charge in the judges chambers and we made the decision in about 7 minutes, instead of the 30 it took last year.

Son #2 almost ruined the night because he didn't want to go and made me 20 minutes late, but he ended up getting a t-shirt, pizza and an autograph from the lead singer of The Postulates so he was happy. Plus, he ran to the tree and back in less than 20 seconds, breaking his previous world record.

Music is always a good soul soother.

When's Vacation?

Dang nabbit. Fuck. I want a vacation NOW.

I should have no complaints: I've been doing exactly what I wanted all day, I have good music in the background, I feel harmonious and balanced. But yet I feel restless. Not melancholy -- restless.

I've got the Graceland vacation all planned and reserved, well, most of it. Here's the banner we have hanging up in our house for the next month until our ETD.

It's fucking 6 foot long, and I bought it for the new Saturn Hybrid Vue we are about to buy...but as you can see, it's a bit too big. I'm really bad with dimensions.

But I feel agorophobic sometimes and don't want to go. Whew. There, I said it. I like being home. I like feeling grounded and knowing where the kitchen and bathrooms are.

Could also be that I wanted to get that yearbook done before I left, but there ain't no way in hell it's going to be. We gotta put in extra hours, which we have planned already, so I just need to refuckinglax.

So, when's vacation?

A New Day...

It's funny what a 4 hour nap and a good night's sleep can do for a person. I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day. I am gonna KICK that yearbook's ass today, and I am gonna like it.

We're having a copyright issue with our cover art, of which I shall deal.

We're behind in submitting pages big time, of which I shall deal.

We're late in returning corrected proofs, of which I shall deal.

We haven't seen some folks yet at all, of which I shall deal.

So, whatever happens today, I think I can deal.

The Mondays on a Tuesday

I get the Mondays. I might have discussed this previously, but I am mildly bi-polar and I have swings every damn Monday. Unless the start of my week is Tuesday, in which case I get the Mondays on a Tuesday.

Take notes: there WILL be a quiz.

Mkay. The current brain cocktail includes uppers (Lexapro), downers (Abilify) and over the counter tummy medicine, due to prickish insurance policies that prevent me from getting my little purple pill. These keep me calm, and work especially well in the summer months. Nothing helps some of those winter months.

So back to today, Tuesday disguised as a Monday, because I have given myself Mondays off this summer to avoid said syndrome. So I went into work and immediately felt like leaving. I DID NOT WANT TO BE THERE. I survived for an hour, then escaped to Walgreens to buy toilet paper and a fingernail repair kit. Back for an hour and then gone. So I worked for a total of two hours. Waa waa, poor me. But I felt it creep up on the way home...that insidious voice inside my head that makes me feel as if the world is just too damn big and complicated.

It was a little voice though, not a big booming voice, so that's good. But I still think I'm gonna take a nap.

Avoiding Bras

Bras in any season are oppressive. Bras in the summer should be downright illegal for being hazardous to your health.

I avoid them at all costs; never wear one at home and wear big t-shirts or shirts with little strapped shirts instead of bras when i go into work. I only have two that I like anyway. I hate underwires and prefer training-like bras. I am not hugely endowed, so that makes it easy.

Why wasn't I alive earlier in the century so I could have joined in the bra burnings of the 70's. I hadn't hit puberty yet. Alas, I miss all the good stuff.

Maybe I should go into Victoria's Secret and buy a couple really nice bras. Then I might not want to avoid them so much.

Or they could invent one that was more damn comfortable, or I could lose weight. But that's the first place I lose it, so I'm not keen on that idea.

Bras and boobs on a Sunday evening. How's that for random?

Reminiscing About a Couch

The couch is gone. The couch I blogged about in Part I...the dreaded, wonderful couch.

Rachmo cut Jordizzle's hair on that couch; we drug Steakboy to that couch when he was having one of his infamous spells, and I took the infamous snooze during yearbook on that couch that Mr. Head Human Resources Guy pointed out during our disciplinary conference.

Ahhhhhhh. Memories.

But I had to get rid of it to pave the way for technology... no more laptops; instead, we get desktops. My already crowded room is going to be even more crowded once the conversion from Mac to PC takes place.

And no more wintery naps between work and parent conferences; when most teachers can run home and DO something, I'll be stuck at work with no couch cuz I'm a commuter.

So I think I used to hate that couch, but now I want it back. Or do i just want Rachmo, Jordizzle and Steakboy back?

Friday the 13th is preceded by Thursday the 12th

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th and Son #2 turns 9. We expect bad luck tomorrow: supposed to rain, half the family won't travel this far, half his friends don't like each other and they didn't have WWE decorations for his cake.

But today is actually a bad luck day too, so are the odds in my favor that tomorrow won't be so bad? What happened today you wonder from my foreshadowing? Well, nothing. Nothing happened at yearbook this morning, except Ranae was there working her rear off as she has been the past few days. Nobody showed up. Nadda. Except for Shownarou, who graduated last year, and who has come in to save the day a few times. I guess I do have good graduates that help when they can, and for that I am lucky.

I do have a about 50 pages to proof tonight, which is good. But I went through the Spring Play spread and it sucks big; too many spelling errors to have by the time it gets to me.

And Hubby just showed me two big old welts on the side of his swollen glands -- not a good sign of things to come. Grrrrr.

Lazy Summer Days

I've already started to forget what day it is...which is extremely good. My Principal said to take some time away from work and have a summer. I cannot do that, but I can enjoy my limited schedule (2 to 4 hours a day) and enjoy the feeling of losing yourself in laziness in the afternooons.

Son #2 has already gotten into the groove...he hangs out all day with his buddies in this wonderful small town of around 1,000 people. We can trust that he's going to avoid trouble (so far) and the town is his. He ripsticks, bikes, scooters and walks miles each day and is building solid skills in avoiding the troublemakers.

My husband; however, doesn't enjoy summer so much. He has to maintain this house and property, his mother's house and farm, and teach summer government. He's busy all the time, but getting better at being cranky about it.

Son #1 is off making memories of his own in a far off town with his father. He's involved in cross country, jazz band, jazz choir, show choir, music lessons and hanging with his friends. I'm involved in never seeing him.

Bitter much?

Oh well, I got lots to keep me busy. The yearbook has a life of its own, my internet connection is slower than normal because of a new wireless router, and it's time to wake up Son #2 to head off to the big city and get to work.

Oh, and I get my gray roots died brown today, which always makes me feel younger and more chipper. Gotta be chipper on these lazy summer days: I have to savor the memories to last me all the long, depressive winter.

Premium Unleaded

This is the song I was referring to in the last post. It's by The Postulates, a local high school band who rocks. They will be famous. You can say you heard it here first!

Premium Unleaded

Magical Evening

Every so often you have one of those nights where the stars are aligned and magic happens. My boys and I went to the IndieFest concert and experienced good music, fine company and no tornados. Son #2 got some merch: a CD and a keychain, plus some ice cream from the ice cream truck, so he was hap hap happy. He couldn't believe that he was only 3 feet away from the guy he bought the CD from when they were on stage -- his eyes were wide and his heart was open to the music, and my favorite local band did not disappoint. We were down front in the mosh pit and were all singing the chorus as the winds whipped and the lightening threatened off in the distance.

It was glorious. Son #1 was there -- he's here for a whirlwind 14-hour visit, she says sarcastically. I'll take him whenever I can get him, and I'm glad we had a good time, but damn I'd like to see him more. But if you want quality, we had it last night.

And as the lyric goes, "I sold my soul, for a gallon of gasoline."

Phone Calls and Saturday Tunes

I've got to go in Monday and call all the kids who need to come in and work on the yearbook. I should send home schedules again too and put some heavy pressure on those long-lost kids.

Why do I worry about them all, even my editor-in-chief, on a Saturday? Ranae is great and wonderful and too damn busy. She's in charge of a pool at a country club, and the storms blew out her pump, so now she deals with that all the time, at the expense of yearbook. Plus, she's in love it appears and stays up too late. But it is summer, and what did I do the summer after I graduated high school? Had a torrid love affair and worked my ass off -- and I have some wonderful rocking chair memories of that summer...

So what should I do? Do the work myself? No way...that goes against all that I've been taught and all that I believe in. I am the "adviser" spelled with an e on purpose. That's what journalism teachers are: advisers -- not student workers. Even the state free-speech law says that "students shall assign and edit the news."

Kick their asses is what I'm gonna do.

But first, I'm going to pick up Son #1 later and head to an outdoor concert of local bands. Local Indie bands, that is. That should be fun, and the storms are supposed to surround us but stay away until tomorrow.

Teenage Analogy: Teenalogy

I hang out with teens all the time. Have been for 31 years, since I myself was a teen.

I've also lived without electricity off and on my whole life, during power outages and storms.

And therefore I'd like to propose this Teenalogy: A teenager's brain: the electricity being out::being bored: being bored.

I've lived it. I have experienced what it is like to be in a teenager's brain with a cell phone in your hand when you are truly bored, which is all the time. Yesterday, our power was out and I went nuts. Hubby was sick with a flu bug and we escaped to a hotel. But in the interim, while he was passed out and the boy was playing outside, I texted 10 former students this "Power out. Bored. Entertain me..." and they did! I sent 50 texts and got 45 back within about an hour. It was righteous fun. And, at 1:30 in the morning when tornado's were headed our way, I got 3 texts and a voicemail message and a call all warning us to take cover. Powerful technology.

So this Teenalogy is designed to help all of us beyond-peter-pan-age adults to remember what it's like to be a kid and to give them a break when they seem to live with their cell phones in their hands. Join in the fun.

Me and My Big Mouth

I'm like the love doctor. I taught sexuality education for 3 years professionally, and kids learn that. They tell me things. I see dead people.

I learned that one of my students has just been tested positive for a STI. I feel so badly for them, and wish I could change places with them. I've been there, and it's no fun.

I learned that one of my students is getting yanked around by their ex, and can't move on with life. I feel so badly for them, and wish I could change places with them. I've been there, and its no fun.

But sometimes, when they reach out to me, I say stupid things. I help a bit, I hope, but I can be judgmental when I try not to be. It's hard when it comes to love and sexuality. I wish I could write THAT book. But not now. When I'm free, I'll feel more free to flap my big mouth.

Hail, Floods and Pestilence

Well, we got a good old-fashioned summer thunderstorm to start our day today: the official first day of summer vacation.

To celebrate, we woke up at 5:30 a.m. as usual. Tried to make the coffee but were almost out. Tried to read the paper but it wasn't here yet. Tried to get on the computer but the power kept flickering.

And now we're trying to get ready for the teacher's perfect summer vacation -- going into school! Hubby is teaching summer government, so he's in the shower getting ready to go. I'm working on the yearbook still every day, so I'll be heading out about an hour after him. Glamorous, eh?

So now we got hail and flood warnings. The pestilence is the current presidential election -- the Democrats have their heads up their rears and the Republicans could capitalize on that.

Happy Summer!

Mother of All Phoons

Well, Jedi did it. He bagged the perfect phoon. I've had it enlarged to a 24 x 36 poster to hang in my classroom, and bought a 10 x 15 for him. He's going to come in and do a slide show of his Caribbean vacation this week and I'll surprise him with it.

See, when you work so intensely with kids in extracurriculars, you develop these parallel relationships, as a colleague penned them. You get close and you share life and it's all cool. His wonderful girlfriend suffers from depression also, and I've tried to give him some tips on how to cope with it all. But he's a great guy and already knew it all.

He's going to school for neurosciences and journalism here close to home, and I'm sure we haven't heard the last of him. I'm so lucky to make acquaintances with young adults like him.

And Ranae has been running wild lately and I haven't seen my yearbook editor-in-chief much. But she promises to rectify that beginning tomorrow.

It always comes back to that damn yearbook.

Cat Shit

I woke up this morning to find cat poop in my purse. Previously, I have found cat poop on my computer bag, and on 3 other purses. I think our old female is trying to tell me something.

We have 4 cats now, and we have 4 litter boxes in the basement. You'd think that would be sufficient, but oh no, that little bitch has to mark my territory as hers. It's war now: I'm just in the right mood to put her down for not being able to control her bladder. She is probably sick somehow, but she's old and would medical treatment really be effective at her age? She's quirky as hell, but aren't we all?

These decisions are not fun. I know the animal rights groups would tell me to take her to the vet and spend lots of money on her. I know that others would say it's cruel to let her live like this; she doesn't enjoy defacating on my purses.

Is this the circle of life? Shit in inappropriate places then you die?

Too early in the morning for this shit, that's for sure.