So, we decided to pay rent each month in addition to utilities. We don't want to be freeloaders. We have jobs and we have a little savings and no real credit card debt, so we are better off than the average American right now.
But something strange started happening to us during all the frigid treks between the Cadillac and the farm house. We started to feel guilty for all the stuff we were getting: especially the cash. A local TV station had run our fire story as a way to get people to be aware of fire prevention, because apparently there have been many many fire deaths so far this year. They also ran our bank information and a plea for donations to us.
So we were accumulating quite a bit of cash, and didn't feel we deserved it. We had gift cards amounting to thousands of dollars also, which we used immediately to replace basic needs. We also made 4 long-ass trips to the local china-mart where we spent over a thousand per trip. Ever wandered around a department store after you have lost everything? Not a good feeling -- what do you buy first when you need everything?
Meanwhile, our insurance companies (yes, two companies, one for the house replacement and one for the contents of the house) were duking it out and we were left with a measly $2,500 advance to buy shit.
So, we knew we needed the donations just to put gas in the car and food in our bellies, but we still had this nagging sense that other people should be getting the donations instead of us. Being a charity case is a trip -- one that I don't want to go on again for a long time.
But thank you if you donated to us, because the ebil (yes, I said ebil) insurance company didn't pay up for 6 weeks after the fire. You see, the bitch went on vacation for two weeks and they evidently don't cross-train their workers. I won't mention the insurance company's name, but they do insure the majority of retired military officers in this country.
And when it's all said and done, and all the thank-you's have been sent, when life gets back to normal, and when the next family has a tradgedy -- we will have insight into their situation. We have grown because of this discomfort I'm sure. Being needy is a real eye opener, fer sure.
The generosity of others is something to be cherished and never taken for granted. The stupidity of insurance companies, on the other hand, is something to look at. Like why did I get interrogated by our own insurance company's liabilty people, on tape, about all the ways WE could have started the fire? Rumours already flew about our small town the night of the fire -- rumours that son #2 started it accidentally -- and this just added insult to injury.
Guess I picked a bad year to quit sniffing glue, to steal a phrase from the movie "Airplane."
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Angels that roam the earth
I teach, as has been previously established. About a week after the fire, one of my former students came to my classroom and said her mother had a house they wanted to donate to us. Apparently, her mother and sisters and she had moved in with the boyfriend, and they had a furnished house just sitting there.
They offered it rent-free, and we'd pay the gas/electric. What the hell? People offering their homes to us, in addition to all the donations we had received? We were truly overwhelmed with the kindness of others, and we were very eager to find a place of our own until we figured out what we were going to do about our home.
So, we moved to the big city. The house burned down on a cold, blustery winter day, and we moved three pick-up loads full of stuff to the rental house from the farm during a snow storm.
Picked a hell of a month to become a house fire statistic, that's all I can say.
They offered it rent-free, and we'd pay the gas/electric. What the hell? People offering their homes to us, in addition to all the donations we had received? We were truly overwhelmed with the kindness of others, and we were very eager to find a place of our own until we figured out what we were going to do about our home.
So, we moved to the big city. The house burned down on a cold, blustery winter day, and we moved three pick-up loads full of stuff to the rental house from the farm during a snow storm.
Picked a hell of a month to become a house fire statistic, that's all I can say.
Going Backwards
When one is 45, one should not go back and live with the parents. That is the simple rule. No matter how much you love your parents, you should not share living space with them once you have grown up.
In our case, we do love the mother-in-law/mother. She is cool beyond words, sharper than the average tack, and very accommodating. When our house burned down, she immediately offered us space in her home. Even as the fire raged, we knew we weren't really homeless because we could go out to the farm and be with her.
We had offers of a local hotel and offers of houses to stay in, but there was really never any question where we would stay. As we trudged back to the farm the night of the fire at 10 p.m., it felt like we were going home in a way -- albeit a temporary home, but a home none-the-less.
The only problem is that we were schlucking in donations every day, and her house was getting cluttered with our new stuff. She has been a widow for 10 years now, and she definitely had her home in order, just like she liked it. Plus, we are not poor, so I think she didn't really approve of all the donations of cash and clothing we were getting. These are not big deals, but they weighed on our minds heavily.
Couple that with the fact that my hubby is now 48, and being back home with his mother made him feel like an insecure teenager all over again. He tip-toes around his moods and hers, and he couldn't relax. We were upstairs, so we couldn't relax because we thought our footsteps might disturb her below. She couldn't watch her favorite TV shows undisturbed because we were there.
I don't think she minded us being there as much as we thought she minded us being there. We tried to get a rental home in our small town, but none were available. Then the angel from heaven came to save us.
Two weeks of going backwards was now to meet a glimpse into the future.
In our case, we do love the mother-in-law/mother. She is cool beyond words, sharper than the average tack, and very accommodating. When our house burned down, she immediately offered us space in her home. Even as the fire raged, we knew we weren't really homeless because we could go out to the farm and be with her.
We had offers of a local hotel and offers of houses to stay in, but there was really never any question where we would stay. As we trudged back to the farm the night of the fire at 10 p.m., it felt like we were going home in a way -- albeit a temporary home, but a home none-the-less.
The only problem is that we were schlucking in donations every day, and her house was getting cluttered with our new stuff. She has been a widow for 10 years now, and she definitely had her home in order, just like she liked it. Plus, we are not poor, so I think she didn't really approve of all the donations of cash and clothing we were getting. These are not big deals, but they weighed on our minds heavily.
Couple that with the fact that my hubby is now 48, and being back home with his mother made him feel like an insecure teenager all over again. He tip-toes around his moods and hers, and he couldn't relax. We were upstairs, so we couldn't relax because we thought our footsteps might disturb her below. She couldn't watch her favorite TV shows undisturbed because we were there.
I don't think she minded us being there as much as we thought she minded us being there. We tried to get a rental home in our small town, but none were available. Then the angel from heaven came to save us.
Two weeks of going backwards was now to meet a glimpse into the future.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
One Long Day
The first few weeks after the fire seemed to be one long day. We said that for three weeks, actually. Each day consisted of going to work, and then getting donation after donation after donation: the caddy was packed with stuff every day throughout that time.
Food. Clothing. toys. Toiletries. Dishes. Everything.
We needed everything.
And did we get everything, man. Two communities reached out to us, the one we live in and the one we teach in. People came out the woodwork to donate money and stuff. It's funny when you have no stuff how much you appreciate stuff.
We lived with hubby's mom for two weeks before we found a rental property that was furnished. Now that's another story.
Food. Clothing. toys. Toiletries. Dishes. Everything.
We needed everything.
And did we get everything, man. Two communities reached out to us, the one we live in and the one we teach in. People came out the woodwork to donate money and stuff. It's funny when you have no stuff how much you appreciate stuff.
We lived with hubby's mom for two weeks before we found a rental property that was furnished. Now that's another story.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Burnin' down the house.
I hate foreshadowing. I truly do. Remember, faithful reader, when I mentioned I was just gonna sit back and let life happen? Well, I beat the odds. I mean, our house burnt completely to the ground on January 29, and we lost everything we owned, except for the proverbial clothes on our backs.
And the car we were driving, thank god. And also, thank the goddesses that nobody was hurt, except for four innocent cats. Son #2 was in the house for 30 minutes while the fire smoldered upstairs, and was alerted to it by a burning bathrobe on the first floor. He ran out into the 10 degree weather in his socks and no coat, where he alerted the neighbor to call 911. He is one smart cookie, for a nine-year-old.
During the ordeal, I have been making lists of blog titles to write once I got back online and in a more permanent dwelling than my mother-in-law's.
Now is that time.
And the car we were driving, thank god. And also, thank the goddesses that nobody was hurt, except for four innocent cats. Son #2 was in the house for 30 minutes while the fire smoldered upstairs, and was alerted to it by a burning bathrobe on the first floor. He ran out into the 10 degree weather in his socks and no coat, where he alerted the neighbor to call 911. He is one smart cookie, for a nine-year-old.
During the ordeal, I have been making lists of blog titles to write once I got back online and in a more permanent dwelling than my mother-in-law's.
Now is that time.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Snow Days and Delays
Thanks to the Goddesses for cold and snowy weather...just when I get tired of the same old routine, nature gives us a one-two punch and delivers a day and a half off of work!
w00t.
w00t.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
All Play and No Work
Makes Delani a happy girl! (to mutate a reference from The Shining)
Seriously, or srsly, I have been playing all weekend, and I'm in a great mood. I had a lovely dinner last night at the local restaurant with Son #1, and woke up refreshed and smiling.
Sigh. When everything's good like this, I feel like the hammer is going to drop just around the corner. My shrink asked me about my extended family last visit, which only means one thing: he wants to know about my support network when something bad happens to me. So now, I've just convinced myself that something bad is going to happen.
What happened to my good mood? Now i'm full of anxiety and worry...but I know it won't last.
School is going GREAT. I have a bunch of really nice and polite and inquisitive children this term. My smallerish study hall is even quiet and productive, unlike last term when i had the huge study hall from HELL. Class size DOES matter -- and I have the research and experience to prove it. But School Size is just as important, and I did a little research during my Master's Degree studies on school size. Smaller is better, unlike sex.
:)
On the state of the world: economic downturns, mid-east wars and police brutality and rioting. WTF is going on? Armageddon? The end of the world in 2012 as predicted? Oh shit it's all too much for my little pea brain to handle. Think I'll go smoke a peace pipe and drink another cup of coffee. People need to just get along, it is so simple.
All I am saying, is give peace a chance.
OK. I'm happy again. In the midst of turmoil and trials, I have found my little corner of the sky where I can relax and be happy. I couldn't ask for more.
Seriously, or srsly, I have been playing all weekend, and I'm in a great mood. I had a lovely dinner last night at the local restaurant with Son #1, and woke up refreshed and smiling.
Sigh. When everything's good like this, I feel like the hammer is going to drop just around the corner. My shrink asked me about my extended family last visit, which only means one thing: he wants to know about my support network when something bad happens to me. So now, I've just convinced myself that something bad is going to happen.
What happened to my good mood? Now i'm full of anxiety and worry...but I know it won't last.
School is going GREAT. I have a bunch of really nice and polite and inquisitive children this term. My smallerish study hall is even quiet and productive, unlike last term when i had the huge study hall from HELL. Class size DOES matter -- and I have the research and experience to prove it. But School Size is just as important, and I did a little research during my Master's Degree studies on school size. Smaller is better, unlike sex.
:)
On the state of the world: economic downturns, mid-east wars and police brutality and rioting. WTF is going on? Armageddon? The end of the world in 2012 as predicted? Oh shit it's all too much for my little pea brain to handle. Think I'll go smoke a peace pipe and drink another cup of coffee. People need to just get along, it is so simple.
All I am saying, is give peace a chance.
OK. I'm happy again. In the midst of turmoil and trials, I have found my little corner of the sky where I can relax and be happy. I couldn't ask for more.
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