Guilty feelings and Insurance companies

So, we decided to pay rent each month in addition to utilities. We don't want to be freeloaders. We have jobs and we have a little savings and no real credit card debt, so we are better off than the average American right now.

But something strange started happening to us during all the frigid treks between the Cadillac and the farm house. We started to feel guilty for all the stuff we were getting: especially the cash. A local TV station had run our fire story as a way to get people to be aware of fire prevention, because apparently there have been many many fire deaths so far this year. They also ran our bank information and a plea for donations to us.

So we were accumulating quite a bit of cash, and didn't feel we deserved it. We had gift cards amounting to thousands of dollars also, which we used immediately to replace basic needs. We also made 4 long-ass trips to the local china-mart where we spent over a thousand per trip. Ever wandered around a department store after you have lost everything? Not a good feeling -- what do you buy first when you need everything?

Meanwhile, our insurance companies (yes, two companies, one for the house replacement and one for the contents of the house) were duking it out and we were left with a measly $2,500 advance to buy shit.

So, we knew we needed the donations just to put gas in the car and food in our bellies, but we still had this nagging sense that other people should be getting the donations instead of us. Being a charity case is a trip -- one that I don't want to go on again for a long time.

But thank you if you donated to us, because the ebil (yes, I said ebil) insurance company didn't pay up for 6 weeks after the fire. You see, the bitch went on vacation for two weeks and they evidently don't cross-train their workers. I won't mention the insurance company's name, but they do insure the majority of retired military officers in this country.

And when it's all said and done, and all the thank-you's have been sent, when life gets back to normal, and when the next family has a tradgedy -- we will have insight into their situation. We have grown because of this discomfort I'm sure. Being needy is a real eye opener, fer sure.

The generosity of others is something to be cherished and never taken for granted. The stupidity of insurance companies, on the other hand, is something to look at. Like why did I get interrogated by our own insurance company's liabilty people, on tape, about all the ways WE could have started the fire? Rumours already flew about our small town the night of the fire -- rumours that son #2 started it accidentally -- and this just added insult to injury.

Guess I picked a bad year to quit sniffing glue, to steal a phrase from the movie "Airplane."